Sermon Notes: “Parent-Children Connections and Relationships in the Lord” (Ephesians 5:18, 21; 6:1-4)

Sermon Notes

Sermon Title: “Parent-Children Connections and Relationships in the Lord

Text: Ephesians 5:18, 21; 6:1-4

Date: Sunday,  June 3, 2018

Speaker: Pastor Joseph’

 

Introduction: Read articles on the state of family in the United States

  • Verse 1-3: The responsibilities of children toward their parents: one single duty: obedience and honor
  1. Duties of Children toward their parents in the Greco-Roman World may include the following
  • love (Cicero/Seneca)
  • honor (Diogenes Laertius)
  • providing for them in old age
  • burying them
  • venerating them after death

***These were expected virtues (pietas) expected from children to demonstrate toward their parents. According to Cicero, “A person’s highest moral duty was first to one’s country and then to one’s parents, ‘for their services have laid us under the heaviest obligation’” (Qtd in Thielman, Ephesians, p. 396). In the Greco-Roman society, obedience to parents was the norm (“obedience to parents in all things”

  1. Duties of Children toward their parents in the Jewish-Hellenistic World may include the following

Similarly, in the Jewish culture, complete obedience to parents was expected from children; the duties children were required to perform toward or on behalf of their parents included the following:

  • to provide for their elderly parents (Philo/Tobith)
  • to see their burial (Philo/Tobith)
  • to honor them next only to God (Philo, Decalogue)
  • speak respectfully to them (Ex. 21:16)
  • to provide for them in old age (Josephus, 1 Tim 5:4, 8; Matthew 15:3-8)

(Qtd in Thielman, Ephesians, p. 396).

In the Jewish literature such as in Sirach, the author advised children: “With all your heart honor your mother” (Sir 7:27), and “Honor your father by word and dee, that his blessing may come upon you” (Sr. 3:8) (Arnold, Ephesians, p. 416).

In Colossians 3:20, Paul exhorts children to obey their parents “in all things” (kata panta): that is unlimited obedience to parents. The primary reason children should obey their parents is they also have been incorporated into Christ by faith (in the Lord)

  • –Obey your parents in the Lord
  • —Honor your father and mother.
  • Ta techna: children, designating children who were still in the home. “They are old enough to understand instructions from their parents…This would most likely place the age range of the children from early elementary to the late teen years or early twenties” (Arnold, Ephesians, p. 415)

***There are three reasons why children you obey (hypakouo, active verb for obedience, which is different than hypotasso, passive verb indicating “voluntary submission” from wives to their husbands, 5:222, 24b)

 

  1. for it is right (dikaios)—that is it is universally acknowledged that obedience to parents is both “fair and proper” (Matthew 20:4; Luke 12:57)
  2. it is the first commandment with a promise (Ex. 20:12)
  3. that it might go well with you and you will long on the earth.

***The Bible associates honor and obedience to parents with “prosperity and a long life.”

  1. Teachings about Parent-Children Relationship in the Old Testament
  •  Exodus 21:15, 17; Lev. 20:9: children will be criminally executed if they curse their parents. In Romans 1:30; 2 Tim 3:2, Paul lists children’s disobedience to their parents as a grave sin.
  • Ps 127:3
  • Exodus 20:12
  • 5:16
  • 6:1-9: parental discipleship in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
  • 21:18-21
  • Numbers 26:9-11
  • 1 Samuel 19:11; 20:32

 

Teaching from Proverbs:

Parents must instill in children the wisdom of God; they must be taught to obeyed and should be disciplined.

  • Proverbs: 1:8-9: Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
    and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
    They are a garland to grace your head
    and a chain to adorn your neck.
  • 6:20-21, My son, keep your father’s commandment,
    and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
    21 Bind them on your heart always;
    tie them around your neck.
  • 10:1, A wise son brings joy to his father,
    but a foolish son brings grief to his mother.
  • 31:1-2, The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.

Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb!
Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers!

  • 2:1, My child, listen to what I say, and treasure my commands.
  • 15:5, Only a fool despises a parent’s discipline; whoever learns from correction is wise.
  • 20:7, The righteous lead blameless lives;
    blessed are their children after them.
  • 28:7, Young people who obey the law are wise; those with wild friends bring shame to their parents.
  • Proverbs 6:20–21,

My son, keep your father’s commandment,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
Bind them on your heart always;
tie them around your neck.

  • Proverbs 12:1 – Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.

The Blessings promised to children

  • Proverbs 31:28, Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:

***Ex. 20:12, 12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

  1. Verse 4: The leadership, submission, and responsibilities of parents to their children
  • The warning or command: do not make them mad!
  • The double duty: discipline them and instruct them in the way of the Lord
  • How to discipline children?
  • How to instruct children in the way of the Lord

***“The rearing of children in the Jewish tradition including not only providing for their physical needs, but also showing them affection” (2 Sam. 12:3), especially teaching them the law of God (Deut. 6:6-7; 11:18-19) (Qtd in Thielman, Ephesians, p. 396).

  • In the Greco-Roman culture as well as in the Jewish society, the father was responsible for the education of his or her child; education as discipline could include beating, but both teachers and fathers were warned of excessive beatings and discipline of children (Keener, NIV Background Bible Study, p. 2067). According to Keener, it was common in the Greek culture that Greek parents would abandon their babies, aborting them in the womb, or, sometimes when malformed, killing them. Abandoned babies who were not retrieved by others—usually to be reared as slaves—were often eaten by vultures or dogs” (p. 2067)
  • Pau’s instructions here to the Christians at Ephesus counter the dominant belief about life and the value of human life, especially the importance of children’s life; in these instructions, he makes the following expectations:
  1. To honor marriage in the church. That single people in these various churches were encouraged to get married (or people in the church were going to get married and have children) unless singleness is a divine gift—because marriage is a gift from God and that children must conceive in the marital union.
  2. The dignity of every child and that every child is (“Every Person is a Person”). The idea that “every person has the same worth as every other is a revolutionary principle.” All lives matter.

 

Verse 4: Fathers to “bring up” (ektrepho) their children in “the training” (paidea) and instruction (nouthesia) of the Lord”

  • Paidea (“to bring up”: denotes physical and mental training to disciplinary punishment
  • Ektrepho: this same word is used in 5:29 which signals the loving care a husband should show toward his wife
  • Nouthesia: could simply refer to “good counsel” or simply a warning.

 

Arnold writes:

This admonition is nowhere found in the OT and does not have any exact parallel in ancient literature. Hence, for both a Jewish father and a Roman father, such a command might come as somewhat of a surprise. Given the heavy-handedness of the cultural patterns for fathers in both of these societies, readers might have expected this command to have been applied to the children, that children should not provoke their fathers to anger through disobedience and rebellion. (Arnold, Ephesians, p. 417)

Religious Instruction to Children:

  • 1: 7: The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
    but fools[c] despise wisdom and instruction.
  • Prov: 1-7: The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel: for gaining wisdom and instruction;
    for understanding words of insight;
    for receiving instruction in prudent behavior,
    doing what is right and just and fair;
    for giving prudence to those who are simple,[a]
    knowledge and discretion to the young—
    let the wise listen and add to their learning,
    and let the discerning get guidance—
    for understanding proverbs and parables,
    the sayings and riddles of the wise.[b]

5 five ways parents should not provoke their children to anger

“To “provoke . . . to anger” suggests a repeated, ongoing pattern of treatment that gradually builds up a deep–seated anger and resentment that boils over in outward hostility.” (John MacArthur) (See recommendations by John MacArthur)

“It is God-given duty of parents to set boundaries for their children and expect them to obey. Failure to do so results in the Lord’s displeasure and leads to children who rebel against the Lord. (1 Sam. 3:13/Deut. 21:18)” (Arnold, Ephesians, p. 415)

Proverbs 15:1 – A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

  1. Four areas of development in the life of Jesus: Luke 2:52

The areas parents must help their children:

  • Wisdom –mental capacity
  • Statue—physical capacity
  • Favor with men -social capacity
  • Favor with God: spiritual capacity

Biblical parenting involves nurturing in these four areas: mental, physical, social, and spiritual.

Amen!

 

 

 

“Parent-Children Connections and Relationships in the Lord

Ephesians 5:18, 21; 6:1-4

Sunday, June 3, 2018

PowerPoint Preaching Notes

 

Statistics on U.S. children in unmarried parental homes

  • “About one-third of U.S. children are living with an unmarried parent.”
  • “”About one-in-five children are living with a solo mom”
  • “Nearly half of black children live with a solo mom”

“The Changing profile of unmarried parents”

  • “One-in-four U.S. parents are unmarried”
  • “About one-in-five children are living with a solo mom”
  • “Since 1968, a fourfold increase of unmarried parents”
  • “Share of unmarried parents who are dads has more than doubled”
  • “About three-in-ten solo parents are blacks”
  • “Among cohabitating parents, fewer college graduates”
  • “About half of solo parents have never been married”
  • “About one-fourth of solo parents are parents”
  • “About three-in-ten solo dads are living with their own parent”

 

Verse 1-3: The responsibilities of children toward their parents

  • one single duty: obedience and honor
  1. Duties of Children toward their parents in the Greco-Roman World may include the following
  • love (Cicero/Seneca)
  • honor (Diogenes Laertius)
  • providing for them in old age
  • burying them
  • venerating them after death
  1. Duties of Children toward their parents in the Jewish-Hellenistic World may include the following
  • to provide for their elderly parents (Philo/Tobith)
  • to see their burial (Philo/Tobith)
  • to honor them next only to God (Philo, Decalogue)
  • speak respectfully to them (Ex. 21:16)
  • to provide for them in old age (1 Tim 5:4, 8; Matthew 15:3-8)

 

Three reasons children must obey their parents

  1. for it is right (dikaios)—that is it is universally acknowledged that obedience to parents is both “fair and proper” (Matthew 20:4; Luke 12:57)
  2. it is the first commandment with a promise (Ex. 20:12)
  3. that it might go well with you and you will long on the earth.

***The Bible associates honor and obedience to parents with “prosperity and a long life.”

Teachings about Parent-Children Relationship in the Old Testament

See the verses on the worksheet

 

Verse 4: The leadership, submission, and responsibilities of parents to their children

  • “The rearing of children in the Jewish tradition including not only providing for their physical needs, but also showing them affection” (2 Sam. 12:3), especially teaching them the law of God (Deut. 6:6-7; 11:18-19) (Qtd in Thielman, Ephesians, p. 396).
  • In the Greco-Roman culture as well as in the Jewish society, the father was responsible for the education of his or her child; education as discipline could include beating, but both teachers and fathers were warned of excessive beatings and discipline of children (Keener, NIV Background Bible Study, p. 2067). According to Keener, it was common in the Greek culture that Greek parents would abandon their babies, aborting them in the womb, or, sometimes when malformed, killing them. Abandoned babies who were not retrieved by others—usually to be reared as slaves—were often eaten by vultures or dogs” (p. 2067)

Ephesians 6:4

  • Fathers to “bring up” (ektrepho) their children in “the training” (paidea) and instruction (nouthesia) of the Lord”
  • Paidea (“to bring up”: denotes physical and mental training to disciplinary punishment
  • Ektrepho: this same word is used in 5:29 which signals the loving care a husband should show toward his wife
  • Nouthesia: could simply refer to “good counsel” or simply a warning.
  1. Four areas of development in the life of Jesus: Luke 2:52

The areas parents must help their children:

  1. Wisdom –mental capacity
  2. Statue—physical capacity
  3. Favor with men -social capacity
  4. Favor with God: spiritual capacity

***Biblical parenting involves nurturing in these four areas: mental, physical, social, and spiritual.

 

Amen!